Dec. 28–Every year, a new food trend pops up that diners adore. And as soon as an ambitious chef or restaurant owner catches wind of these buzzy meals, it opens the floodgates for copycats.
Some menu epidemics catch on and stick around. Think cupcakes, cronuts and frozen yogurt. Those trends had legs, and only the strongest have survived.
But, we think some fads must go. Here's our take on what foods we'd like to see die in 2018.
Mashup meals: End the madness. Unless we're at the county fair or Taco Bell, these hybrid concoctions must go. Think Spaghetti Grilled Cheese sandwiches and burger buns made of fried macaroni and cheese. — Nancy Luna
Hazy IPAS: As my favorite 1980s "Clueless" character, Cher, might say: These lazy murky IPAs are total Monets. "From far away, it's OK, but up close, it's a big old mess." (Note: Green Cheek Beer in Orange is one of the few local breweries who can get away with these drinks.) — N.L.
Poke: The market is oversaturated. It will implode in 2018. — N.L.
Social media foods: Don't judge a food by its Instagram looks. The internet goes ga-ga over these so-called "food porn" images but the reality is most of these gimmicky meals are made to look good, instead of tasting good. Among the worst local offenders: The Loop Handcrafted Churros, Sweet Combforts and the Cauldron's Puffle Cone. — N.L.
Cereal as a topping: There's only one way to eat cereal: in a bowl with milk. N.L.
Rolled ice cream: I'm a purist about ice cream. It's got to be served by the scoop, or blended in a shake. — N.L.
Electronic ordering systems: It's so hip! It's so now! It's so not working. These always sound progressive but mostly they're a fail because of faulty wi-fi, technical glitches, orders appearing twice or not at all. After a big announcement they seem to disappear from these restaurants within weeks. Just walk up and ask me what I want to eat. OK? Because I'm not inclined to tip robots. — Anne Valdespino
Unicorn creations: Colorful, bland, tasteless kindergarten food. Let's just grow up. — A.V.
Avocado toast: The "special" appetizer is that ubiquitous tamed down, culturally misappropriated guacamole. C'mon! — A.V.
No online reservations: I have to wait until 5 p.m. to phone and then no one picks up? It's called Open Table and it's really convenient — for both of us. — A.V.
Fickle craft cocktail menus: You drink through the list to find your favorite, then return and discover this menu changes at the speed of light! Beg for it and you're told the fancy eye of newt and wing of bat ingredients are no longer behind the bar. Fine. Neither am I. — A.V.
Sexist servers: Don't you dare ask my table if the ladies would like some white wine or dessert. Yep, it's as shocking as finding an 8-track tape on the floor of a rental car but somewhere they still make these guys. They hand him the wine list and even after you make the selection they pour him a taste. Don't stop bringing him the check, though, that's the only part of this asinine routine I enjoy. — A.V.
Enormous entree bowls: You're seriously plopping a chop, a steak or a hunk of chicken in there and expecting me to negotiate it with a knife that keeps sliding into the sauce? There's no place to rest the utensils and I have to keep wiping them with a napkin that then belongs nowhere near my lips, hands or lap. How do I not make a mess? I feel like a Rhesus monkey on a private jet seated next to Queen Elizabeth. — A.V.
Carnival food on restaurant menus: Although this trend is not limited strictly to food halls, many (not all) of these places have sadly become magnets for immature wanna-be cooks with no proper training or vision. Making a hamburger "bun" out of deep-fried macaroni, or dousing a single piece of fried chicken with a pound of cayenne pepper doesn't make you a chef, nor a marketing genius. Go learn to cook, then come back and try again. — Brad A. Johnson
Cajun/Asian crawfish restaurants in Little Saigon: Imitation is supposed to be the best form of flattery, and for a while there I was excited to see so many new restaurants copying The Boiling Crab (which no doubt copied someone else before them). But now we have Kickin' Crab, Jumpin' Crab, Claws, Mad Claw, Cajun Islands, Submarine Crab, Fire Crab, KOC Crawfish, Crawfish House, Crawfish Live, Hot n Juicy Crawfish, Starfish Restaurant, On the Hook… blech. — B.A.J.
Cutting boards as plates: It makes sense to serve charcuterie on a cutting board or piece of slate. But these are not the right vessels on which to serve any sort of food that's going to spill off the edge and onto the table, like sauce, or rice, or beans, or salad dressing… Please stop. — B.A.J.
Smoke in cocktails: I've seen tiny "joints" attached to bucket glasses, smoking herbs inserted into mixing glasses and other craziness.The last thing I want when I'm drinking a cocktail is a big, nasty mouthful of smoke with my drink. It makes me feel like I'm in a sailor's dive bar circa 1967. — Paul Hodgins
Beet juice as a mixer: I like beet salads but not beet martinis. Let's keep our vegetables on a plate and away from the cocktail glass. It seems like a attempt to make a cocktail healthier, which would be like removing the fat from foie gras. If I wanted a healthy cocktail, I'd ask for a kale leaf in my Bloody Mary. — P.H.
Double (and triple) IPAs: When I'm in the mood I like a hoppy beer as much as the next guy or gal, but lately craft brewery IPAs have been hoppier than a rabbit invasion. Back off, hop heads, and make a more balanced brew, please. — P.H.
